Up for discussion: Beating the blues

"These are the best years of your life" -- your student may have heard that in high school and now in college. But for some students, these years of transitioning to adulthood are difficult and depressing.

Emil Rodolfa, a licensed psychologist and director of Counseling and Psychological Services (CAPS) at UC Davis, says there are many ways that parents can help a student who is feeling blue.

He suggests that parents familiarize themselves with campus resources, starting with CAPS. Parents can contact the counseling center directly or help their student contact CAPS for counseling and to facilitate assistance from other campus resources such as the Learning Skills Center and the Internship and Career Center.

Stressors

There are many sources of depression on a college campus: academic pressures, conflicting career goals, relationships, finances, or conflict with roommates or faculty. Helping a student cope more effectively with these stressors can lift the clouds of depression.

"When students feel depressed, they often feel alone," Rodolfa says. "Parents should reassure them they are not alone and that college can be tough."

Initiate conversation to find out what's going on in their lives as an adult. Ask questions, but don't finish their sentences, Rodolfa says. Find out if they are hanging out with friends and making connections. Or are they playing video games alone in their room for hours?

Adding to the pressures

Rodolfa also encourages parents to examine what pressures they may be placing on their child to follow a particular career path or consistently achieve top grades. Know how those pressures affect your student, and recognize pressures the student may be putting on her or himself. Realize that your child may not get the same straight A's earned in high school, and don't measure worth by academic performance.

A certain amount of direction, support and love is needed during the college years, but parents must also learn to step back and encourage students to find their own path.

"Parents want their children to have successful, happy lives," Rodolfa says. "But students have to be responsible for themselves at some point -- that involves letting go."

Most importantly, reassure your student that there is light at the end of the tunnel. "Life happens. It's how you balance it all," Rodolfa says.

Counseling center staff is on hand from 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. Mondays through Fridays. Call (530) 752-0871. After hours, call (530) 752-0871 to speak with a counselor.